Nothing I've done today has felt good enough. It's just been one of those days. I'm so stressed out and I feel simply inadequate. I really, really want Aaron to be home. Less than 6 days. I can do this.

Tokyo was incredible, but I'm sure it had much to do with the amazing company I was in. :) I can't believe how lucky I am. This can't be real... and yet it is.

I'm going to Tokyo! Meeting up with Aaron for a few days and exploring the city. This is my fall break excursion- just over a week away! Yay, spontaneity!!

My best friend is en route to the other side of the world. He'll get there around 11am Louisville time tomorrow. Saying goodbye at the airport was one of the most difficult things I've had to do. It felt surreal, and still does. I already miss him. 79 days.

Aaron leaves on the 11th, and won't be back until December. Three months sounds like such a long time. I'm going to need to keep myself as distracted and busy as possible over that span of time. Maybe I'll focus more on my studies. Maybe I'll go running more often. Maybe I'll learn to cook better. Maybe I'll catch up with old friends. And I can always have late night skypes with Aaron. You know, through all of this, I haven't once questioned that this would work. I know that it will. And I know that when he comes back, it'll be even better than it is now.

So begins a new semester... I'm thinking it will be a stressful one. I've probably signed myself onto too many things. Each group I dedicate myself to is one I truly like; I just really hope I'm not spreading myself too thin. To top off this pity party, Aaron is going to work in Bangkok for three months. My favorite person in the world... will be on the other side of the world. To see that in writing makes it feel so much closer, and so much scarier. I just typed an entire paragraph, listing off my bizarre mixture of feelings, but it's all pretty ineffable. I should simply leave it at this: I'm so proud of him.

It's been a great weekend. Casino success, seeing old friends, and I can call myself someone's girlfriend. So weird and amazing to see that last thought in writing... Can I say again just how lucky I am?

I am a lucky, lucky girl.

I can't get that image out of my head. That smile was so, so much better than any I've ever seen. I feel like I'm finally doing something right.

Signed the lease for an apartment yesterday! One hour bus commute becomes 15 minutes. I'm so pumped.

It's been a crazy past few weeks, and I guess the exhaustion is finally catching up with me. I'm sick for the first time in a year and a half (I suppose that's a pretty impressive track record), but I'm still happy. It's a bizarre cocktail of feelings and I'm feeling strangely okay with it all. Life ain't too shabby.

I've had a spectacular weekend. The National Steel Bridge conference was a blast, and I really enjoyed getting to know everyone on the team better. Being 21 is definitely fun, too. ;)

I am so proud to say that I survived the Spring semester! It was beastly and busy, but I feel really accomplished. Now, for three months of money-making, reading, Redditing, and doing whatever the hell I want. :)

Going on hour 30 of wakefulness. So exhausted, but this weekend was way worth it. Coolest conference ever.

First trip of the month was a success. I love the beach so much. I love the smells and sounds, the saltiness, and the way it makes me feel. I will live near one someday.

I need to remember things like this: how much I love my mom. She is a constant inspiration to me, and she's the strongest person I know. I had the sweetest conversation with her tonight, and I hope I always remember it.

This is going to be an amazing month, but I guess I should go ahead and say my goodbyes to sleep. Flying down to Tampa Bay for Spring Break next weekend! So nice to finally be able to say "next weekend." The following weekend, flying out to Vegas for a conference. The weekend after that, driving up to Pittsburgh for a competition. Feels good.

Here we go again: over before it even began. I really thought something was happening here. It would seem that I was wrong. I'm trying to feel upset about it, but I'm mostly numb.

I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.

When I was younger, I went through a Vonnegut phase. I read each book of his that I could get my hands on. Now that I'm a little older, and a little less pretentious, I think I should reread some of his books. I might get more out of them now than ever.

I can't remember the last time I was this tired.

What an interesting weekend.

This has been such a good weekend.
I do like you. Quite a bit.

A fresh start is never a bad thing. Well, it usually isn't. This year, I think I might even have some vague resolutions.

I resolve to treat every person I meet as a human being. That might seem a little silly, but let's be honest: it's easy to treat the cashier at Walgreens like some sort of lawn ornament. It's difficult to change a process you're so bored with. But I have worked in retail and other customer service positions, and I know how much of a difference just a little friendly small talk can make in someone's day. Which leads me to my next resolution...

I will smile and compliment others more. I will smile at strangers, friends, family, everyone I possibly can (and hopefully not come off as completely insane). I will give compliments as I see fit, even if it's to a total stranger. Although I may not like my smile, and although it's not the prettiest, straightest, or even a particularly charming smile, it's a smile. It feels GOOD to be smiled at, to be complimented, out of the blue. Because a smile and a compliment can change someone's life--not one life, but many. I can think of multiple instances that I've been having an awful day, and a stranger gave me a smile or a friendly compliment in passing, and I've done the same to the next person I see... Happiness is contagious. It really is. This may be a cheesy realization, but that doesn't make it any less true. And, honestly, I'd much rather be cheesy than unhappy.

So, cheerio, 2011. It was a good year, and it's only getting better from here.