I wish I knew how to make both of us happy; this is nearly impossible, though, as I don't even know how to make myself happy. I wish I knew what I wanted from you. You're probably very confused at this point, and I'm sorry. You might even think I'm being manipulative, or trying to lead you on; this is not the case. I'm just being that same indecisive girl you met a few months ago.
You are the best thing that's happened to me in these past few months...perhaps for much longer. You gave me purpose when I had none, and you made me feel good about myself again. I kissed you, not just because you wanted me to, but because I wanted to. I wanted to see if maybe there was... something more. For some silly reason, I thought a light would switch on and something in my head would exclaim, "Yep! That's it!" or otherwise. Of course that didn't happen, and I'm only left more confused. I don't regret it; in fact, I think it's the only way we can progress in either direction, by knowing whether or not I can do this. Or feel this.
I have no idea how to make this better. I don't know how to get around this bump. I know only one thing for certain: I want you in my life. It's a selfish thing to want, but... I need you. I guess that's what I've been trying to say all along. I need you.